A friend texted me one of those inspirational quotes that seem to appear with vapid proliferation on Facebook, Imgur and elsewhere – and I almost dismissed me. But then I paused to reread it and found it struck a cord. It goes like this:
“Today, I interviewed a person who is terminally ill.
“So,” I tried to delicately ask, “What is it like to wake up every morning and know that you are dying?”
“Well,” she responded, “What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend you are not?” “
Well, sparky, that’s a darn good point. Let me see if I can cover this without a lapse. I’ve said, to those closest to me – and now to the wider system of tubes – that I’m driven by that which I fear the most, that old jackdaw, Terminus. It’s a reason for my impatience at times, especially with politics and politicking. It’s a reason I’m fine dealing with competent jerks. It’s a reason I’m a team dad. Granted the last is more of a subconscious drive to try and be randomly kind. While I won’t deny the challenge that comes up from this double-edged sword, ranging from the temptation to despondency to random black dogs.
But it is, undeniably, a core central driver. There will never be enough time even should I be Methuselah. There’s always more questions than there is time. And one answer has always lead me to a few more questions.
What I have been able to do is – to some extent – become Master & Commander of my own ship.
I’ve recognized the issue,dealt with it – albeit with an adhoc plan – and continue to deal with it. I work hard to transform the power it would have over me to the power to change and be more meaningful. Sure, there are causalities along the way – that’s a by-effect of change. But the transformation is remarkable as I look back on recent years.
Jedi-like, I’ve taken the power of depression and used it to be a happier person working a towards more meaningful existence. And just like the Jedi, I have to constantly be on ward against it. It’s hard, hard work, but one I’m winning in a measure of inches.
If there’s hope for me, folks, there’s hope for you..